Why are Narcissists (Initially) so Popular?
But here’s the kicker (or paradox). In that same study, Paulhus found that after the first meeting, narcissists were rated as more agreeable, conscientious, open, competence, entertaining, and well adjusted by the other members of the group.
.. Not all facets of narcissism were equally predictive of popularity. In fact, the Leadership/Authority facet was almost completely unrelated with first impressions. They found that the facet that most strongly predicted popularity was the Exploitativeness/Entitlement facet.
.. “being admired by others is like a drug for narcissists.”
the narcissistic paradox, is the narcissts’ tendency to simultaneously devalue others while at the same time needing the admiration of others. As Morf & Rhodewalt (2001) put it, as narcissists
“yearn and reach for self-affirmation, they destroy the very relationships on which they are dependent.”
Back and colleagues note that narcissists can ‘solve’ the paradox by only relying on positive feedback from those with zero acquaintance whom they do not have to value.
.. blogging is a terrific arena for narcissists, if not the best arena imaginable. Narcissistic bloggers can get a constant stream of admiration fromcomplete strangers in the form of comments after each blog post. The blogger doesn’t have to value the commentator or form a relationship with the commentator. In fact, the commentator is helping to feed the narcisstic blogger’s addiction for instant admiration.
.. We tend to be attracted to people who possess the four qualities (flashy and neat dress, charming facial expression, self-assured body movements, and humorous verbal expression) that narcissists tend to (initially) possess.