openpolitics.com

Rough Transcript:

hello YouTube thanks for tuning in so

this is going to be a fun video about

having fun with your narcissist how to

beat them at their own game and enjoy it

so before we get into this material got

to put a few disclaimers out there

number one you must understand that this

person has been doing this for a lot

longer than you they’re much more

skilled they are much more passionate

about accomplishing their objectives so

keep that in mind you’re not dealing

with the novice you’re dealing with

someone who has advanced skill in this

disorder so only engage at your own risk

which leads me to disclaimer number two

if there are any risks involved then do

not do any of the techniques I’m about

to describe these should only be tried

with low-level narcissists where there’s

no real threat to your physical person

there’s no threat to your property and

there’s no threat to your livelihood

okay

and number three disclaimer

you should really only do this when

you’re at the tail end of your healing

or when you have healed completely and

maybe this is just a narcissist you

can’t get rid of for different reasons

legal reasons familial reasons for

whatever reason you’re stuck with this

person and the stakes are very very low

and you are healed completely because if

you’re still caught in codependency

these will not go over well for you

because again remember these people are

very skilled at this it’s almost like

they’ve studied it so they’re better at

it than you are

however if you have a bit of a

rebellious instinct if you are at the

tail end of your healing or you heal

completely and if the stakes are low I

say it’s time to have a little bit of

fun with your narcissist okay so there

are a couple of ways to really get under

their skin and it’s so fun to watch

up until this point the narcissus has

relied on your lack of awareness in

order to operate once you become aware

it’s like somebody turned the lights on

they can’t operate as effectively

anymore because you’re now aware the

mistake most codependents make is they

call the narcissists out immediately

they might even call them a narcissist

to their face this is useless this is

pointless because now they’re just going

to go oh oh I got lazy

let me ramp it back up I’m off my game

so they’re just going to turn their

efforts up to get you back in line so

you don’t really want to call them out

on it because now that you’re aware you

can study them and that’s what’s so fun

about these people because they really

are kind of predictable and that’s why a

lot of the videos you’ll hear on YouTube

everyone is kind of saying the same

thing we all use different examples some

of us use similar examples you’ll get

something out of every video you listen

to every time because we’ve all gone

through different versions of this but

part of the reason it’s also similar is

because these people operate in the

exact same way they do not deviate over

time they become predictable part of the

reason I want to do these videos is

because I want to help you be able to

see them as predictable and once you are

you have so much more power and you’re

so much more empowered so here’s how to

have a little bit of fun with your

narcissist ignore them oh if you really

want to get under a narcissus skin

ignore them and there are more ways to

ignore people than just not answering

the phone and not returning a text

message that’s child’s play if you want

to ignore the narcissist

you don’t necessarily downplay their

accomplishment you neutralize it so

let’s say they got a promotion at work

and they went on and on and on about

this promotion you should say something

like that’s really great

and and leave it at that that’s really

great and they’re gonna go where’s the

fanfare where’s the confetti where where

is the red carpet this person is not as

excited about the stuff is I she he or

she usually is because normally you’re

like oh my god that’s awesome

congratulations you work so hard for the

Hat ah you really overcame that crappy

boss you had let’s go out for drinks

let’s celebrate that’s how you normally

are right so this time when they tell

you about their promotion or whatever it

is you go that’s really great that’s

really great I’m sorry it makes me laugh

because it’s going to catch them

off-guard because you’re still

acknowledging it you’re still giving

them some kind of food you know you’re

not flipping it back to yourself you’re

not going to steal the conversation away

from them like they do to you all you’re

doing is just not giving them the

fanfare that they’re accustomed to so

they’re going to tell you about this

awesome thing and you’re going to go

that’s really great that’s a that’s a

form of ignoring someone in a way

because you’re not really playing up

what’s happening in their life okay the

way you’re not a narcissist about it is

that you don’t then snatch the

conversation and turn it to you you let

them have the floor continually and all

you give them is little snack little

bite-size pieces of confirmation that’s

awesome that’s awesome okay here’s

another way to really get under the skin

of your narc notice okay narcissists

will often take a lot of digs at you big

digs little digs little

passive-aggressive maneuvers and once

you recognize them as a narcissist you

understand that they’re doing it to kind

of tear at your self-esteem to chip away

at it

without being out in the front about it

right without being overt about it so

when you notice their digs if you

normally kind of react or you find

yourself defending yourself or you have

some kind of reaction to their dig

just ignore it or just pretend you

didn’t hear it or here’s one of my

favorites just play dumb oh man

play dumb playing dumb is the equivalent

of playing dead there are lots of

animals in the animal kingdom that when

they are in the face of their predator

they just play dead and the predator

leaves them alone because it’s no fun

because part of the fun for the predator

is the kill the chase and the kill so if

you’re just laying there playing dead

then they’re not going to have any fun

they’re gonna kick around at your feet a

little bit they’re gonna poke you with a

stick when you’re not moving they’re

gonna walk away cuz you’re no fun okay

so play dumb play dead

pretend not to hear it or fake like you

heard something else entirely and

respond to that like they like to screw

with your mind so you screw it there’s a

little bit you know if they’re like oh I

see you’re wearing summer shoes in the

wintertime be like they have this

awesome sale on winter boots did you see

that sale at Macy’s like it it’s funny

to me because you know it really

requires you to stay in the moment and

to maintain a presence of mind about the

whole situation but when you do it it’s

funny because in the RIT here’s why it’s

not evil because someone might listen to

this and go well you’re just acting just

like them

no you’re just returning to them what

they give to you every day you’re giving

to them what they give to you every

single day why is it okay to do little

digs at you why is it okay to showboat

and never let you have have the floor

and never let you have accomplishments

and something that you’re happy about

why is it always their show so when you

do these little things to them it kind

of brings them back to earth and remind

them hey you’re a human being I know

you’re missing the empathy chip I don’t

know what happened I don’t know that’s a

birth injury or something that happened

after you were already here but you’re

missing that and I get that but you’re

still a human being and you have to be a

good person alright

so here’s another technique that you can

use have a little fun with your

narcissist if your narcissist is verbose

meaning they talk a lot and not just

talk a lot they dominate the

conversation it’s usually all about them

and they never flip it back to you it’s

not a reciprocal conversation it’s a

monologue it’s a one-man or a one-woman

show if your narcissistic

the next time they call you and you have

an opportunity to actually speak jump

right in sentence after sentence after

sentence after sentence after sentence

after sentence don’t breathe keep it

going sentence after sentence after

sentence after sentence after sentence

changed the subject change it back

sentence after sentence after sentence

after sentence you’re narcissists will

be so overwhelmed because a they’re not

used to listening to anybody but

themselves talk B they’re trying to like

keep up with all these words and they

can’t they’re getting clustered C

they’re trying to figure out how they’re

ever going to turn it back to them and

if they can’t get it back to them how

they’re going to get off the phone and D

they’re just sitting there wondering

what just happens wait a minute this is

not how this goes he or she must be on

drugs today because normally I’m the one

doing all the all the talking this is my

show wait what happened here

so is if they talk too much you have to

jump in right away because if you don’t

they’re gonna steal the show from you so

as soon as you pick up the phone oh my

god I’m so glad you just called I just

almost got an accident on the highway

but I’m okay now

everything’s fine you know the cops said

that it wasn’t my fault

so they didn’t give me a ticket did you

know that you have to call those kinds

of things into your insurance and I

didn’t know that and it really upset me

and I was on hold for twenty I mean just

go just take off running keep a little

bullet list a little bulleted list in

front of you if you need to in order to

keep the subjects going if you’re not

used to doing that much talking try it a

couple times if you can get through it

without laughing because you’ll probably

start laughing because it’s hysterical

because who does that